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05-07-2008, 05:50 PM
“ Today is a weird day Foggy. two years. no sauce. no drugs. i guess i enjoy rasta sometimes but you know, thats my business. thats salad, as some would say.
Lets make a list. A list of Things That Have Changed.
Ok, Foggy, here we go. ”
1. I can sleep now and when I cannot I can see that there are things to do like read or make art or meditate or look at books of photographs. All things but get mad, panic, or get depressed when I cannot. INSOMNIA was there before bars. and I guess I can use that time. Hell, I even learned about classical music this year. yay.
2. I explore my sadness and depression with empathy, and with love for myself now, not in a destructive way.
Also I explore forgiveness AND joy and peace now. There is nothing “dumb” about feeling or exploring those things. It is nice to know bleakness is not intelligence.
3. I never think about that stuff,(Party Life- drugs-whatever; i was always working during and anti-social about it so there aren’t like disco-memories) in fact, it seems weird I ever even did that stuff like drink or drugs because life seems to much more open, with so many things to do, I guess I was young/dumb/bored/ not wise
4. I find people more interesting than myself however I also find that many people scare me.
5. I do not see “those things” anymore. I made them go away.
6. I know in my heart I can understand the universe and life only if I hold on to things like “Albert Einstein was here” and if I cry for no reason sometimes, (this is so lame) I go home. I go home and I read Anne Frank journal entries. Sometimes I catch myself trying to get through the page to help them, to build a portal or something.
7. That I have other things to do than finish lists.
8. gotta go.
9. oh, there is a touch of sadness in me wishing i were sharing this day with someone, but i am sharing this day, with you foggy, and with my loved ones who sent me this bitchin chocolate cake and ya know i am off to see bossman too which will always be great/weird- a touch of sentimentality - but i am ok with that. and i am going to listen to Iron Maiden somewhere in time tonight front to back and watch Diary of the Dead on DVD so how badass is that self-date. I would be rockin it with the little wise one but she is all Amandiana Jones right now rockin the globe on a mission. she is doing like several major archeological digs this week. they already uncovered a sumerian temple with lightning towers ( I may be imaginating here)
10. VOID were a kick ass band and DISCHARGE is probably the only other band with similar badf-ass brtual guitar tones.
one extra-
Not only will I love again, but I really worked hard trying to get to know me in the last two years and despite some obvious flaws and things I want to change, I think I am an ok person and I believe in love as an element like air or fire or pizza.
More... (http://werewolph.tumblr.com/post/34048126)
Lets make a list. A list of Things That Have Changed.
Ok, Foggy, here we go. ”
1. I can sleep now and when I cannot I can see that there are things to do like read or make art or meditate or look at books of photographs. All things but get mad, panic, or get depressed when I cannot. INSOMNIA was there before bars. and I guess I can use that time. Hell, I even learned about classical music this year. yay.
2. I explore my sadness and depression with empathy, and with love for myself now, not in a destructive way.
Also I explore forgiveness AND joy and peace now. There is nothing “dumb” about feeling or exploring those things. It is nice to know bleakness is not intelligence.
3. I never think about that stuff,(Party Life- drugs-whatever; i was always working during and anti-social about it so there aren’t like disco-memories) in fact, it seems weird I ever even did that stuff like drink or drugs because life seems to much more open, with so many things to do, I guess I was young/dumb/bored/ not wise
4. I find people more interesting than myself however I also find that many people scare me.
5. I do not see “those things” anymore. I made them go away.
6. I know in my heart I can understand the universe and life only if I hold on to things like “Albert Einstein was here” and if I cry for no reason sometimes, (this is so lame) I go home. I go home and I read Anne Frank journal entries. Sometimes I catch myself trying to get through the page to help them, to build a portal or something.
7. That I have other things to do than finish lists.
8. gotta go.
9. oh, there is a touch of sadness in me wishing i were sharing this day with someone, but i am sharing this day, with you foggy, and with my loved ones who sent me this bitchin chocolate cake and ya know i am off to see bossman too which will always be great/weird- a touch of sentimentality - but i am ok with that. and i am going to listen to Iron Maiden somewhere in time tonight front to back and watch Diary of the Dead on DVD so how badass is that self-date. I would be rockin it with the little wise one but she is all Amandiana Jones right now rockin the globe on a mission. she is doing like several major archeological digs this week. they already uncovered a sumerian temple with lightning towers ( I may be imaginating here)
10. VOID were a kick ass band and DISCHARGE is probably the only other band with similar badf-ass brtual guitar tones.
one extra-
Not only will I love again, but I really worked hard trying to get to know me in the last two years and despite some obvious flaws and things I want to change, I think I am an ok person and I believe in love as an element like air or fire or pizza.
More... (http://werewolph.tumblr.com/post/34048126)