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Old 10-31-2013, 12:39 AM   #2376
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Fucking brilliant.

Quote:
WATERLOO, ON – Responding to numerous patron complaints, the staff of the Empire Theatres Waterloo reportedly removed famed Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield after he would not stop heckling a screening of Gravity, the space thriller that has recently dominated the domestic box office.

Eyewitnesses reported that during last night’s 9:15pm Real3D screening of Gravity, a lone man (later identified as retired ISS Commander Chris Hadfield) began muttering under his breath and chuckling to himself. By the 30-minute mark, Hadfield reportedly made numerous rude comments such as, “Nice Soyuz procedure, Hollywood!” and “Oh yeah, because that’s what hypoxia as caused by rapid cabin decompression looks like you idiots!.”

“It was the damndest thing,” recounted Isabelle Tremblay. “My boyfriend and I were like, ‘what a jerk’, and he went back to talk to him. But then he came back to our seats and he was like ‘I’m pretty sure that was that astronaut guy. You know, from the news.’ So we just let him go. I mean, what do you do? An astronaut probably gets George Clooney’s character struggles a little better than I do.”

Hadfield’s alleged berating of the film continued unabated. During one crucial and deathly silent scene involving Sandra Bullock’s character’s desperate attempt to reach her vessel and avoid dying in the void of space, the man who brought honour and fun to Canadian space exploration let out a long, piercing, and altogether perfect fart.

Eventually, theatre staff was notified, and the Canadian living legend was loudly removed from the cinema. Witnesses report that he did not go quietly. One patron recalled, “The last thing I heard him yelling was, ‘Have you been to space? Because I’ve been to space!’”

“But he’s still a hero, I suppose.”

At press time, Commander Hadfield’s family and friends were really hoping he never finds out about the 1996 horror classic: Leprechaun In Space.
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Old 11-10-2013, 08:36 PM   #2377
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

My first thought was that the word would be "ouch", but nope.

Quote:
Humans speak many languages, but we may be united in our confusion. A new study examined languages from around the world and discovered what they say could be a universal word: ''Huh?''

Researchers travelled to cities and remote villages on five continents, visiting native speakers of 10 very different languages. Their nearly 200 recordings of casual conversations revealed that there are versions of ''Huh?'' in every language they studied - and they sound remarkably similar.

While it may seem like a throwaway word, ''Huh?'' is the glue that holds a broken conversation together, the globe-trotting team reported Friday in the journal PLOS ONE. The fact that it appears over and over reveals a remarkable case of ''convergent evolution'' in language, they added.

''Huh?'' is a much-maligned utterance in English. It's seen as a filler word, little more than what's called a conversational grunt, like ''mm-hmm.'' But it plays a crucial role in conversations, said Herbert Clark, a psychologist at Stanford University who studies language.

When one person misses a bit of information and the line of communication breaks, there needs to be a quick and effective way to fix it, he said. ''You can't have a conversation without the ability to make repairs,'' said Clark, who was not involved in the study.

For this study, scientists from the Max Planck Institute for Psycholinguistics in the Netherlands set out to show that ''Huh?'' had earned the status of a fully fledged word, though an admittedly odd one. They also wanted to see whether other languages had a similar word with a similar function.

The problem is that ''Huh?'' often seems like such an unimportant feature of language that it's not well documented, said Nick Enfield, a linguistic anthropologist who worked on the study.

The scientists headed to remote villages in Ecuador, Laos, Ghana and Australia and spent weeks getting acquainted with the locals. The ''Huh?''-hunters also visited family homes in Italy, Russia and Taiwan as well as laboratories in Spain and the Netherlands.

Across 10 languages, they found a remarkable similarity among the ''Huhs?'' All the words had a single syllable, and they were typically limited to a low-front vowel, something akin to ''ah'' or ''eh.''

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/world/huh-the-...#ixzz2kIRc3zGI
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Old 11-11-2013, 06:09 AM   #2378
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Quote:
You might say her career’s dead in the water.

Actress Katerina Stojanovska has become a laughing stock after claiming she was to star in a new film… with James Dean, Marilyn Monroe and Marlon Brando.
Seemingly unaware that the three screen legends are no longer with us, she told a TV interviewer: ‘They saw my photo and thought I would be perfect for the role.’

The Macedonian’s interviewer on the country’s Kanal 5 TV was either equally clueless or a born poker player – going on to ask if she had met any of her future co-stars.

Stojanovska replied: ‘I haven’t met them yet but talk every day to Marilyn Monroe. We chat on Facebook. We’ve been speaking for several days about the details of the film.’

If the actress aimed to boost her media profile by boasting of Hollywood interest, she’s succeeded… her face is all over TV and media in the Balkans…
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:39 AM   #2379
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

You don't even need to get past the headline, really.

Quote:
Woman Wears Hamburger as Sandal After Sex in Waffle House Parking Lot

Scandal struck Loganville, Georgia this week when a woman caught having sex in a Waffle House parking lot attempted to wear a hamburger like a sandal.

Early Sunday morning, at about 1:30 a.m., a Loganville police officer spotted a couple having sex in the back of a Dodge pickup truck. The officer interrupted the two and ordered them to get dressed. The man complied, but the woman did not, at least not at first.

From the Loganville Patch:

While the man immediately put his pants on and complied, the woman simply sat in the passenger's seat. The officer had to tell her numerous times to put her clothes on, the report says. But when the female finally got dressed, she attempted to put a cheeseburger on her foot as if it were a sandal.

Though they were having trouble speaking clearly, the suspects became "very loud" and "argumentative" when ordered to take a breathalyzer test, which both failed in spectacular fashion: The man blew a .154, and the woman blew a 0.216.

Both were arrested on charges of public intoxication and loitering.
http://gawker.com/woman-wears-hambur...hou-1460831281
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Old 11-12-2013, 08:49 AM   #2380
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

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Dad Dies After Drinking 'Health Drink' That Turned Out to Be Liquid Meth

Romano Dias knew he was in trouble immediately after consuming a large quantity of what he believed to be a fruit-flavored health drink. He was right to worry: The liquid in his glass turned out to be pure crystal meth.

According to authorities in Cambridgeshire, the 55-year-old father from Huntingdon had been handed the glass by his daughter Katee, though it's unclear how he came to believe it was health food.

Shortly after imbibing the fluid, Dias began to feel a burning sensation in his throat and reportedly told his family, "I am in trouble here. I am dying, I am dead."

He was indeed pronounced dead a short time later.

Detectives investigating the case say a bottle containing some 34,000 ($54430) of meth was delivered to Katee Dias' London home some time ago addressed to a different person, and she took it in believing someone may be by to collect it.

Six months later she opened the package, and, for reasons that remain uncertain, the contents of the bottle were eventually served to her father.

Speaking at the inquest, Detective Inspector Ian Simmons said crystal meth was a drug rarely encountered on the street of Cambridgeshire, and he believes the bottle was "destined for a dealer" as "part of a plan to bring Class A drugs into the UK."

Dias's death was ultimately ruled an accident.
http://gawker.com/dad-dies-after-dri...out-1462326757
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Old 11-12-2013, 04:11 PM   #2381
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

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Originally Posted by ishellmay View Post
Fucking brilliant.
Little late here, but man, this story is great.
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Old 11-14-2013, 10:08 AM   #2382
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

http://sploid.gizmodo.com/this-robot...for-1463470930

This probably deserves it's own thread or should be copied into the video games thread.

You can wii this magic.

Guitar Hero has met it's fucking match!

Imagine...

TSA: The Game
What happens when the Space Invaders get to the bottom of the screen: The Game.

This is golden...
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Old 11-15-2013, 12:25 AM   #2383
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Quote:
Professors Test Fifty Shades of Grey Library Book, Find It Has Traces of Herpes

Two Belgian university professors decided to apply their knowledge of toxicology screenings to the 10 most borrowed books at the Antwerp library. Each book underwent bacteriology and toxicology tests, and the findings reveal that library books are even more germ-covered than you expected.

While the experts found that all 10 books contained traces of cocaine–enough so that people who touched the books wouldn’t feel the effects, but might test positive for the drug–they also found something pretty gross: Fifty Shades of Grey, your weird aunt’s favorite mainstream erotic series, tested positive for traces of the herpes virus.

The professors assured everyone that concentrations of the virus were so minimal that there is no public health risk and it would be impossible for people to contract it by touching the book. Still, something to keep in mind next time you consider taking trashy erotica out of the public library.
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Old 11-15-2013, 09:24 AM   #2384
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

That is why I only read biographies. Less chance of herpes.
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Old 11-21-2013, 09:01 AM   #2385
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Remember her?

Quote:
Girl Who Sold Virginity for $780K Tries to Sell Virginity Again

A woman who sold her virginity through an auction site for $780,000 but was unable to consummate the transaction has decided to put herself back on the market — literally.

Catarina Migliorini was initially promised to a 53-year-old Japanese millionaire, but the deal fell through after Natsu ended up being a 21-year-old who looked nothing like his online profile.

She also had a falling out with the documentary filmmaker who recruited her for the controversial auction as part of a project entitled Virgins Wanted.

Migliorini has since gone on to appear fully nude in Playboy Brazil, but insists she remains a virgin.

"I am still a virgin in every way and all the evidence, so, I never have had any sexual involvement and no one in this whole world can claim otherwise," the 21-year-old said in a statement. "[A]nd so I decided to make my own website to auction off my virginity and that time will be for real, so men or women who are interested can make their bids."

Despite this being her second attempt at selling her body for money, Migliorini says she's setting a starting price of $100,000, and hopes to end up with no less than last time.

A warning if you're interested in putting in a bid: Migliorini is planning on writing a tell-all book about her first time, which will contain a detailed evaluation of her partner's performance.
http://gawker.com/girl-who-sold-virg...ign=thursdayAM
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Old 11-21-2013, 09:09 AM   #2386
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Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Easy money.
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Old 11-21-2013, 09:28 AM   #2387
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Quote:
Vancouver is taking the lead in getting rid of something that many people didn't realize was problematic: the lowly doorknob. The city has already replaced knobs with levers—which are much easier for elderly or people with disabilities to operate—in public buildings, and the city's building code will require all new housing to be built with door levers starting in March, reports the Vancouver Sun, which notes that changes made in the city often spread to building codes across the country. Water faucets will have to take the shape of levers, not knobs, as well.

The move is based on the concept of "universal design," which aims to make spaces usable for as many people as possible, a University of British Columbia professor explains. "A really simple version is the cut curbs on every corner," he says. "That helps elderly people, people with visual impairments, moms with strollers. It makes a sidewalk that could otherwise be difficult for parts of the population universally accessible." But doorknobs aren't going to completely die out, predicts the president of the Antique Door Knob Collectors of America. He says it seems like "overreach" to require private homes to be built with levers instead of knobs, although homeowners are free to replace levers with knobs if they choose.
http://www.newser.com/story/177865/v...doorknobs.html
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Old 11-21-2013, 10:35 AM   #2388
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

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My old dog could open lever doors. He could let himself out and sometimes in at my parents home which was okay cause they live in the country. Not necessarily a good thing in the city.
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Old 11-21-2013, 10:38 AM   #2389
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

We had a cat at our house for a few days that would open doors with knobs if a purse was hanging on it. Jump on the purse, turn the doorknob.
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Old 11-21-2013, 10:40 AM   #2390
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Animals are problem solvers when they want to be.
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Old 11-21-2013, 10:42 AM   #2391
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

My parents Golden Retriever would go to the door and act like she wanted outside to potty. As soon as you got up off the couch and walked toward the door she would dart to the kitchen to the pantry where the treats were stored.
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Old 11-21-2013, 10:43 AM   #2392
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

When Hank is hungry, he jumps up on tables and knocks stuff on to the floor with his paws. He can be a little shit sometimes.
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Old 11-21-2013, 11:06 AM   #2393
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

YO FEED ME
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Old 11-21-2013, 11:09 AM   #2394
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Little dude's on a schedule, so I win. But he's really cute.
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Old 11-21-2013, 11:21 AM   #2395
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Old 11-22-2013, 01:02 AM   #2396
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Quote:
Jose Canseco pulled over with goats wearing diapers in the back of his car

Former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco was pulled over by the police in Nevada on Wednesday evening and the cops were greeted by an unusual sight: Canseco had a goat in the back of his car.

Taking matters to an even stranger level, the goat was wearing a diaper.

Canseco tweeted about the incident on his account saying 'Just got pulled over with goats in the car. The cop laughed at our poor goats.'

The former MLB slugger told his thousands of Twitter followers that he and model Leila Knight got some fainting goats and even asked for name suggestions.
He tracked some down on the Internet and set out to purchase them and bring them home, so they could join what he refers to as his zoo of four dogs and tortoises.

More importantly, he said that they’d serve as his and Knight’s children until they have their own.
A couple hours after acquiring his new goats, Canseco was pulled over. Apparently, the officer got a kick out of Canseco's new animals in the backseat. As to the reason he was chauffeuring goats in the trunk of his car? Since playing in his last MLB game, he apparently he's shooting a documentary on the animals.

He's also is apparently adopting them which provides some explanation as to why this happened.

Canseco is a six-time MLS All Star team member and won the World Series twice over the course of his career, which included stints with the Texas Rangers and New York Yankees.
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Old 11-22-2013, 09:23 AM   #2397
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items



Quote:
Hilarious MR BALLS is the new cuddly testicular cancer mascot in Brazil



A Brazilian cuddly mascot is doing his bit to help raise awareness of testicular cancer - and he's called Mr Balls.

Senhor Testiculo, as he is known in his native country, is a spokesperson - of sorts - for a group seeking to raise awareness of the disease and raise funds for new research into it.

It may be a rather graphic method, but by letting it all hang out, the group's "friendly snowman," as they call him, is making a real difference.

A spokesperson for Brazil's Association of Personal Assistance for Cancer said: "Both children and adults loved taking pictures with the mascot, a friendly snowman in the shape of testicles."

Hundreds of men die from testicular cancer each year and the mascot is said to be a fun way of broaching a traditionally taboo subject.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-n...cuddly-2689438
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Old 11-22-2013, 09:24 AM   #2398
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

That is hilarious.
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Old 11-22-2013, 11:03 AM   #2399
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Originally Posted by hildegoat View Post
That is hilarious.
Yep. I did a Google image search and some of the pictures are SO funny. Might not be safe for most work though.
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Old 11-27-2013, 02:44 PM   #2400
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

http://deadspin.com/a-thanksgiving-m...ide-1472742971

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A Thanksgiving Miracle: Air Jordan Logo Appears Inside Cucumber

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