Ryan Adams, abuse, the Stans, and people who believe no apology is good enough

[TheHappiness]

Originally Posted by Tim Simmons

I guess I don’t understand why you care so much about his redemption arc. Or Louis for that matter. You either want to be a fan still or don’t. We all have different roads to forgiveness. Like everything in life. Why do you care so much about other people’s roads? If people want more from him in order to forgive, why is that bad?

Because in most cases, the ppl like you that say 'so and so didn't apologize enough', in most cases, will never be satisfied with any apology. Louis CK wasn't even good enough...


And, you've already made your opinion of DRA known. And you've lumped in his 20 years of being an asshole into his alleged abuse.

You are a FORMER fan. I respect that.


What I don't respect is you measuring DRA's apology. As if any apology could ever be enough for you. It can't. So quit trying.

And to imply that you're just on here heroically defending women is dumb.

It's a chat room.

Volunteer at a women's shelter...

[Tim Simmons]

What’s sad is that people want to move past this pretty cleanly. Or are dismissive or suspicious immediately of abuse claims. Or have no problem victim blaming. That’s what I’ve been pushing back on in this thread. Because I want a world w/o that.

[Tim Simmons]

Originally Posted by TheHappiness

What I don't respect is you measuring DRA's apology. As if any apology could ever be enough for you. It can't. So quit trying.

I find it amusing how certain you think you are about this today.

[TheHappiness]

Originally Posted by Tim Simmons

What’s sad is that people want to move past this pretty cleanly. Or are dismissive or suspicious immediately of abuse claims. Or have no problem victim blaming. That’s what I’ve been pushing back on in this thread. Because I want a world w/o that.

LOL. Fighting the good fight, uh? Spending a good use of time the last 5 months....

You have made your decision. That is why you 'push back' on DRA and his public apology almost immediately. And I would bet in the near future, other moves DRA will make will be looked at in a skeptical way.


So who cares what your opinion is on DRA's apology? You made up your mind. You already criticized the way Louie CK was silent for a year...

[Tim Simmons]

You do apparently. Very much.

[TheHappiness]

Originally Posted by Tim Simmons

You do apparently. Very much.

Awww. Nice try.


Keep 'measuring' apologies from guys you consider unforgivable. And believing that you're doing some good by posting on TBY for 5 months...

[Tim Simmons]

Thanks!

[TheHappiness]

Originally Posted by Tim Simmons

Thanks!

Sure thing.


And keep falsely implying that DRA could possibly due something to earn your forgiveness...

[Tim Simmons]

Noted

[Bart]

Speaking of notes: what is Ryan's favorite key?

Spoiler:

A Minor

[andyo812]

Originally Posted by TheHappiness

You have made your decision. That is why you 'push back' on DRA and his public apology almost immediately. And I would bet in the near future, other moves DRA will make will be looked at in a skeptical way.





So who cares what your opinion is on DRA's apology? You made up your mind. You already criticized the way Louie CK was silent for a year...

I’m legitimately confounded, but your stance is that if one has a determined belief on a matter they shouldn’t publicly share their opinion or ‘push back’?

I would tend to believe that a lot of folks on this board, regardless of where they stand on the matter, care about one another’s opinions.


Also after reading the statement again isn’t it in fact just that, a statement? He doesn’t apologize throughout and attributed the downfall to ‘lies’ while providing no substantive information on his role in what was reported.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[dmorgan1]

Just some observations.

I thought the statement was a small step in the right direction. Admittedly I’ve no idea what kind of self reflection and path to redemption he’s taken these last 5 months. If any. Not long in the eyes of most people but a life sentence to someone like Ryan. He’d have written 2-3 albums normally in that time. Words aren’t enough to earn him forgiveness just yet. And for someone who’s normally good with words I thought it was rambling and heartfelt and a little dismissive of the situation he finds himself in. Maybe I’m trying to dissect too much but there’s admission of guilt in it but also that he doesn’t think it was all entirely fair game either. It’s no straight out apology which to some people is unacceptable. See Drowned in Sound’s twitter response.

The cat posts and other social media ramblings shouldn’t have followed so quickly after a statement like that. Kind of leaves a bad taste. He’d only just offered up some sort of apology and then back to behaving in his ‘good humour’ manner which is a little too soon. Especially if we want to believe him. If there’s some credit due, it reads like a Ryan apology and not a legal statement. Not much credit though.

I hope for his sake he has more to say on the situation and not leave it at that. I’m sure in some way he will over time.

Ty Stiklorius sharing us their text exchanges a few weeks ago doesn’t look great, he in one situation sounds like he’s over the healing stuff but calling for it in his post. I guess we don’t know the timeline of that post - was it only a few weeks ago or did this happen a few months ago.

There are some people who will continue to make it their agenda to kick him back down. Kelsey Kerrigan has continued to speak out on him in many instances these last few months. Any time Ryan was mentioned online she would offer up that she’s been stalked by him and continues to use a random number generator to get in contact with her. (Is that even a thing?) I’m not entirely sure what happened between the two, but her hatred seems to go much deeper than Mandy and Phoebe have publicly shared. Her comments and general behaviour on social media do weaken her credibility somewhat to just trolling.

The court of public opinion is always going to be the hardest. There is no precedent set for those coming out of the #MeToo in terms of what is considered justice served and dues paid. I do think we are holding up an incredibly high bar for these people more so than we would apply to those who commit more straight forward crimes.

We accept jail time as a sufficient sentence for most crimes. In the US, there’s states that think the death penalty is still acceptable. Those people who serve their time whether we like it nor not deserve to go back into society and be able to live their life and free from continued public shaming.

The recent Aziz Ansari Netflix special has had a mixed reception. Some have said he didn’t spend enough time talking about the specific situation which I agree was short, but I thought the whole show was in response to the situation just more broader in scope. Of course Aziz didn’t appear to have had a lengthy past like Ryan, but because Aziz is seen as a feminist ally his response has disappointed those that believe had the power to shift those on the fence or suspicious of the #MeToo movement at all.

I’ll listen to his albums when they come out but he’s still got some work to do before he’s in the clear.

I’m hopeful to see people like Jesse Malin being seen to somewhat supporting him, like Don Was. Asshole aside he deserves good people around him to help.

[TheHappiness]

Originally Posted by andyo812

I’m legitimately confounded, but your stance is that if one has a determined belief on a matter they shouldn’t publicly share their opinion or ‘push back’?

I would tend to believe that a lot of folks on this board, regardless of where they stand on the matter, care about one another’s opinions.


Also after reading the statement again isn’t it in fact just that, a statement? He doesn’t apologize throughout and attributed the downfall to ‘lies’ while providing no substantive information on his role in what was reported.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Another case of ‘the apology wasn’t good enough’ by someone who wouldn’t forgive DRA anyway and would probably be upset by any perceived ‘comeback’, no?

[TheHappiness]

Originally Posted by dmorgan1

Just some observations.

I thought the statement was a small step in the right direction. Admittedly I’ve no idea what kind of self reflection and path to redemption he’s taken these last 5 months. If any. Not long in the eyes of most people but a life sentence to someone like Ryan. He’d have written 2-3 albums normally in that time. Words aren’t enough to earn him forgiveness just yet. And for someone who’s normally good with words I thought it was rambling and heartfelt and a little dismissive of the situation he finds himself in. Maybe I’m trying to dissect too much but there’s admission of guilt in it but also that he doesn’t think it was all entirely fair game either. It’s no straight out apology which to some people is unacceptable. See Drowned in Sound’s twitter response.

The cat posts and other social media ramblings shouldn’t have followed so quickly after a statement like that. Kind of leaves a bad taste. He’d only just offered up some sort of apology and then back to behaving in his ‘good humour’ manner which is a little too soon. Especially if we want to believe him. If there’s some credit due, it reads like a Ryan apology and not a legal statement. Not much credit though.

I hope for his sake he has more to say on the situation and not leave it at that. I’m sure in some way he will over time.

Ty Stiklorius sharing us their text exchanges a few weeks ago doesn’t look great, he in one situation sounds like he’s over the healing stuff but calling for it in his post. I guess we don’t know the timeline of that post - was it only a few weeks ago or did this happen a few months ago.

There are some people who will continue to make it their agenda to kick him back down. Kelsey Kerrigan has continued to speak out on him in many instances these last few months. Any time Ryan was mentioned online she would offer up that she’s been stalked by him and continues to use a random number generator to get in contact with her. (Is that even a thing?) I’m not entirely sure what happened between the two, but her hatred seems to go much deeper than Mandy and Phoebe have publicly shared. Her comments and general behaviour on social media do weaken her credibility somewhat to just trolling.

The court of public opinion is always going to be the hardest. There is no precedent set for those coming out of the #MeToo in terms of what is considered justice served and dues paid. I do think we are holding up an incredibly high bar for these people more so than we would apply to those who commit more straight forward crimes.

We accept jail time as a sufficient sentence for most crimes. In the US, there’s states that think the death penalty is still acceptable. Those people who serve their time whether we like it nor not deserve to go back into society and be able to live their life and free from continued public shaming.

The recent Aziz Ansari Netflix special has had a mixed reception. Some have said he didn’t spend enough time talking about the specific situation which I agree was short, but I thought the whole show was in response to the situation just more broader in scope. Of course Aziz didn’t appear to have had a lengthy past like Ryan, but because Aziz is seen as a feminist ally his response has disappointed those that believe had the power to shift those on the fence or suspicious of the #MeToo movement at all.

I’ll listen to his albums when they come out but he’s still got some work to do before he’s in the clear.

I’m hopeful to see people like Jesse Malin being seen to somewhat supporting him, like Don Was. Asshole aside he deserves good people around him to help.

Aziz is a great example of gross over exaggeration

[Tim Simmons]

I agree with that. And I believe he’s made decent amends. Haven’t seen the new special yet. Looking forward to it

[Tim Simmons]

See TheHappiness, some apologies work!

[folkjam]

Originally Posted by TheHappiness

Another case of ‘the apology wasn’t good enough’ by someone who wouldn’t forgive DRA anyway and would probably be upset by any perceived ‘comeback’, no?

You repeatedly saying this doesn't make it so.

[Sydneyfan]

Originally Posted by CherryRedVinyl

Do *you* think Ryan's recent post on Instagram was completely sincere?

That's a very pertinent question. Pertinent but unanswered.

[BigColors]

Haven't logged in, in a while.
Jesus christ, are you guys still debating?

[FavoriteEver]

Well it died down for a while, and then he resurfaced, so obviously this thread did too. Along with everyone's opinions.

[thebalvenie]

Originally Posted by TheHappiness

Nope.

Have you entertained the idea that DRA might actually be sorry?

Nope.

To you, he hasn't done enough.

Just like with LCK. He didn't 'show you' he was sorry enough during his year of seclusion.


Come on Simmons. You're anchored in your opinion. No apology will be enough for you (or others).

you're pretty dense and have a clear fan bias of a douch pickle.

lck doesn't deserve our fandom or pity or acceptance.

that fucker came back and bitched about how much money he lost out on for his book sales...yeah, real apologetic.

get a grip

[thebalvenie]

Originally Posted by Sydneyfan

How sweet. I certainly found Jason's enthusiastic harassment of Mandy Moore, Phoebe Bridgers and others beautiful. Every time he called one of them a slut or a golddigger or a liar; the world got just a little bit more lovely. Even multiple (and apparently pointless) Twitter bans couldn't deter him from offering all that love and support. Quite a guy.

i like what you did here. sarcasm on point.

that dude is toxic sludge.

JUST like ryan adams.

[thebalvenie]

Originally Posted by Dan33185

I can think of a few of them here.

i'm ready for an apology....

this is not an apology.

the pity party fan seeking and lumping your dead brother in w/ your troubles and tribulations and then texting only what, two weeks ago he wasn't interested in healing but now he wants to work and heal that way...

dude is a first class first rate scum bag.

if he changes his tune and actions i'm all for that kind of apology and growth...NOT MORE OF THE SAME.

[Loveishello86]

Originally Posted by thebalvenie

i like what you did here. sarcasm on point.

that dude is toxic sludge.

JUST like ryan adams.

who is Jason?

[futurecalling]

"Come here, child..."

https://www.instagram.com/p/B0NUaiNpn-p/