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Old 02-14-2019, 06:56 PM   #1
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Ryan Adams' Music Now

was just wondering what everyones opinion is on listening to his music now that these allegations have arrived? how does it change that and will it change your perspective on his songs?

Last edited by shamooth; 02-14-2019 at 08:09 PM..
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Old 02-14-2019, 07:07 PM   #2
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

I can't see myself wanting to return to his songs for a long time. I believe it's possible to separate the man from his music, but right now, I can't listen to his love songs or his pining, sad-sack ballads without thinking of them as an expression of his narcissism. Just to pick out a recent example:

"I swear I wasn't lonely when I met you, girl.
But I was just bored; I was so bored;
I don't know anything anymore."

Like, Jesus... how much of a dick move is it to tell someone your interest in them was because of your own boredom? I might not have read that line that way before... but now I can't not read it that way.

I don't know.
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Old 02-14-2019, 07:19 PM   #3
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

I'm honestly most upset that Big Colors isn't coming out. Sooooo.
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Old 02-14-2019, 07:24 PM   #4
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

i don't think any of this stuff will have that much of an affect on my listening to his music, as i attribute the songs to my life and the memories they created over the years.

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Old 02-14-2019, 07:28 PM   #5
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

I’ve been good at compartmentalizing. After this I can’t. Last night I wanted to dump my collection. Today I’ve decided to wait. It’s not to say I won’t at some point, but it’s best not to make an emotional reaction. But I have ZERO desire to listen to it (Harder Now That It’s Over has been ruined) and I don’t think I will for a long time. Maybe some day I could return to it, but I’m definitely done with him going forward. No redemption.
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Old 02-14-2019, 07:40 PM   #6
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

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Originally Posted by Tim Simmons View Post
Iíve been good at compartmentalizing. After this I canít. Last night I wanted to dump my collection. Today Iíve decided to wait. Itís not to say I wonít at some point, but itís best not to make an emotional reaction. But I have ZERO desire to listen to it (Harder Now That Itís Over has been ruined) and I donít think I will for a long time. Maybe some day I could return to it, but Iím definitely done with him going forward. No redemption.
I'm sorry, Tim. And I mean that most sincerely. This is hard. I'm thinking about stepping back for a bit just to see where all this goes. The only thing thus far that has me totally bothered is the underage shit. The rest, unfortunately, I assumed was the case. If he treats his guy friends like total shit, of course he treats his lady friends the same.

I hope Ryan is okay. Just getting out of rehab and having his past come back to haunt him like this... That cannot be good. Hope what family he has left is with him now.
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Old 02-14-2019, 07:51 PM   #7
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

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Originally Posted by heitrel View Post
I can't see myself wanting to return to his songs for a long time. I believe it's possible to separate the man from his music, but right now, I can't listen to his love songs or his pining, sad-sack ballads without thinking of them as an expression of his narcissism. Just to pick out a recent example:

"I swear I wasn't lonely when I met you, girl.
But I was just bored; I was so bored;
I don't know anything anymore."

Like, Jesus... how much of a dick move is it to tell someone your interest in them was because of your own boredom? I might not have read that line that way before... but now I can't not read it that way.

I don't know.

And I’m pretty sure that song is about Phoebe Bridgers. Take note of her lyrics in her song about Ryan (Motion Sickness):

“You said when you met me you were bored
You said when you met me you were bored
And you, you were in a band when I was born”

Especially the fact that she repeats the lyric twice really sounds like a response to outbound train to me. Ugh.

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Old 02-14-2019, 07:55 PM   #8
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

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Originally Posted by Knotnow View Post
And Iím pretty sure that song is about Phoebe Bridgers. Take note of her lyrics in her song about Ryan (Motion Sicknesses):

ďYou said when you met me you were bored
You said when you met me you were bored
And you, you were in a band when I was bornĒ

Especially the fact that she repeats the lyric twice really sounds like a response to outbound train to me. Ugh.
Yup. That was my first thought when I heard "Emotional Moitionsickness," which, by the way, I think eclipses most of Ryan's output the last few years.
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Old 02-14-2019, 08:04 PM   #9
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

I always wondered how I would handle someone who meant a lot to me getting exposed like this. It was pretty easy being done with the Louis CKs of the world because they were never anything important and it was no real loss in my life.

There's definitely a taint now, but I've been listening to the music a lot since the news broke. His stuff has been a comfort during some really hard points in my life, and it still is, and I guess I'm able to focus on my own interpretations and feelings to the point that I don't really consider him while I'm listening. Every now and then, it'll pop into my mind and I'll get bummed and wonder what the fuck he was thinking.

In the back of my mind, I, like a lot of us, knew that there was the possibility that something ugly was going to happen at some point. I was almost prepared for it. Excluding the Weinsteins and Cosbys, I don't think I can name another person who had so many people with their own individual awful experiences with them, and that was even before this story. It was just openly and casually acknowledged that he sucked, and apparently everyone in the entertainment world had bad things to say. But until yesterday, the underage aspect never crossed my mind. That's just the worst.

I've already accepted that it's not going to be the same as it was, but I think the material we already have is so ingrained in me that I can't imagine not listening to it. I've already attached my own memories and experiences to it, and I've already paid the money to own it. The thing I was nervous about was anything new, and realizing that continuing to spend money on anything he did was now a vote of support for a shitty human being. I didn't know if I had it in me to skip a show of his, but I also knew I wasn't going to feel the same as I used to if I went. But it seems like I'm not going to have to make those decision any time soon.
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Old 02-14-2019, 08:31 PM   #10
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

It's never stopped me from listening to anyone's music before. Probably won't wear any Ryan Adams tee shirts or anything, but everyone's bookshelf and music collection is filled with shit produced by horrible people. Everyone's. If they act righteous about it, they either have no self-awareness or are into really boring art.
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Old 02-14-2019, 09:03 PM   #11
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

was it confirmed he was in rehab? or is that speculation based on the post of the 2 month AA chip?




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Old 02-14-2019, 09:07 PM   #12
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

I listened to the self titled album the day before the story came out.I have worked my way through Live After Deaf -downloads burned to CD- again in the last few months.Not sure I can listen to anything for a while .
Got some cool RA t shirts I will never wear again.
My favourite artist of the last 20 years.I knew about his personality,substance abuse and mental health issues but the explicit and seemingly calculated nature of everything in the story still hurts.
I feel for the women involved.
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Old 02-14-2019, 09:08 PM   #13
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

and sorry, didnít mean to derail this thread.

I canít listen now, soon, or maybe ever again. My friends knew of my fandom towards his music and I had, idk 15+ messages yesterday saying things to the effect of Ďwhat happened to your boy?í Itís a bizarre feeling. Almost like losing religion.

Ironically iím traveling for work and wore my heartbreaker shirt on Monday. A guy actually complimented it on the plane. Just surreal and bizarre. And then i think whatever we feel, although in a different realm, is incomparable to the feelings of those he abused.

I keep thinking about addiction and how big a role ego plays. I hope he gets help although i donít think he deserves a single ounce of empathy at this point.


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Old 02-14-2019, 09:33 PM   #14
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

Right now, I think I'm in the same place as a lot of you on this: Definitely taking a break for a while, unlikely to support new music/shows, but don't necessarily plan on deleting my library/selling off records (though I reserve the right to change my mind on any and all of that - it's just where I'm at right now)

Humans are good at compartmentalizing and I think that'll be even more true as time goes on. Let's face it - we're all here because his MUSIC has had a significant impact on our lives. I don't think anyone was looking up to him as some shining moral example.

This thread is at least making me feel like I'm not alone in just being so bummed about the whole thing. On so many levels - from the obvious sympathy for the women to the selfish feeling as a fan. I know there's gonna be a many more stories, statements from public figures and details shared in the "Perv" thread - but I think it'd be great if we could keep this one more focused on "us and the complicated relationship with the man and his music" going forward.
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Old 02-14-2019, 09:36 PM   #15
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

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Originally Posted by LoadedLikeFreights View Post
Right now, I think I'm in the same place as a lot of you on this: Definitely taking a break for a while, unlikely to support new music/shows, but don't necessarily plan on deleting my library/selling off records (though I reserve the right to change my mind on any and all of that - it's just where I'm at right now)

Humans are good at compartmentalizing and I think that'll be even more true as time goes on. Let's face it - we're all here because his MUSIC has had a significant impact on our lives. I don't think anyone was looking up to him as some shining moral example.

This thread is at least making me feel like I'm not alone in just being so bummed about the whole thing. On so many levels - from the obvious sympathy for the women to the selfish feeling as a fan. I know there's gonna be a many more stories, statements from public figures and details shared in the "Perv" thread - but I think it'd be great if we could keep this one more focused on "us and the complicated relationship with the man and his music" going forward.
Right on. Well said. I feel the exact same.
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Old 02-14-2019, 09:37 PM   #16
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

Yes, will definitely be taking a break. Cold roses is still on my turntable from last weekend. I don't know about the damn t-shirts. It's so frustrating.
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Old 02-14-2019, 09:42 PM   #17
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

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Originally Posted by ViolaGal View Post
Yes, will definitely be taking a break. Cold roses is still on my turntable from last weekend. I don't know about the damn t-shirts. It's so frustrating.
The tee shirts are the worst part. Goddammit, I was so proud to have a bunch of bad ass old Cardinals shirts. They were my favorite parts of the wardrobe.
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Old 02-14-2019, 09:57 PM   #18
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoadedLikeFreights View Post
Right now, I think I'm in the same place as a lot of you on this: Definitely taking a break for a while, unlikely to support new music/shows, but don't necessarily plan on deleting my library/selling off records (though I reserve the right to change my mind on any and all of that - it's just where I'm at right now)

Humans are good at compartmentalizing and I think that'll be even more true as time goes on. Let's face it - we're all here because his MUSIC has had a significant impact on our lives. I don't think anyone was looking up to him as some shining moral example.

This thread is at least making me feel like I'm not alone in just being so bummed about the whole thing. On so many levels - from the obvious sympathy for the women to the selfish feeling as a fan. I know there's gonna be a many more stories, statements from public figures and details shared in the "Perv" thread - but I think it'd be great if we could keep this one more focused on "us and the complicated relationship with the man and his music" going forward.
This is exactly how I feel right now. Well said.

I keep thinking I hope these boards/threads stay around for awhile. I donít think anyone I know in person is really gonna want to hear me go on about this stuff. It does help you feel a little less alone in it all.

I was just about to buy a new shirt a few days ago. Iím glad I didnít drop any $ on it now because I definitely donít feel right about wearing them now.
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Old 02-14-2019, 10:12 PM   #19
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

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Originally Posted by andyo812 View Post
My friends knew of my fandom towards his music and I had, idk 15+ messages yesterday saying things to the effect of Ďwhat happened to your boy?í Itís a bizarre feeling.
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Yep. My phone hasn't stopped. On one hand it's nice that friends think of me, on the other it's kind of weird and bizarre. It's hard to talk to them about it too. I haven't fully processed how I feel about all of this and people want a reaction/response.

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This is exactly how I feel right now. Well said.

I keep thinking I hope these boards/threads stay around for awhile. I donít think anyone I know in person is really gonna want to hear me go on about this stuff. It does help you feel a little less alone in it all.
I do too. It is nice to talk to you all and to read what everyone is saying. The things I agree and disagree with are all still helpful and interesting.

I only own some vinyl (not everything, never really into that), but I have dozens and dozens of random show recordings. I don't own any apparel and I don't have posters or anything like that hanging up in my apartment. I do have a wall that has a mix of venue pictures I've taken over the years and there's one that has Ryan Adams/Father John Misty on it from a show in Boulder before I moved out here. We'll see what happens with that with time.
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Old 02-14-2019, 10:13 PM   #20
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

Right. This place serves as a support group for the moment.
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Old 02-14-2019, 10:34 PM   #21
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

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Right. This place serves as a support group for the moment.
Totally. I don't come here that much, but I came just for this.
That Facebook RAA group is a bunch of bros. I had to leave.

I mean, I haven't been excited about his music for awhile, so I wasn't getting super psyched for Big Colours. But that doesn't mean I was done.
This turn of events...I mean I don't even really have words. I guess now I'm done.
And seriously I guess those tshirts are dust rags now. Arghh.
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Old 02-14-2019, 10:42 PM   #22
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

Also I just want to say that I'm sitting here on a bus trip listening to my music all on random. Do you know how much Ryan Adams pops up??? Because I have so much in my collection??? Fucksticks.

I mean, some of this stuff is so good. Just goddamn.

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Old 02-14-2019, 10:49 PM   #23
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

I don’t know what my relationship with his music will be in the future. I think it’s too soon to say but I definitely can’t listen right now. And I’m fairly certain I’ll never be able to listen these lyrics not get a little wheezy:

Does anybody want to take me home?
Take me to your house,
And I'll leave you alone
Of course I will
Of course I won't
It seems so tragic
But it disappears like magic
Like magic
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Old 02-14-2019, 11:45 PM   #24
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

For me personally, it won't affect how I listen to his music. The songs that meant something to me will continue to. It's the words and music that mean something to me, not the person who wrote them. That hasn't changed.
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Old 02-15-2019, 02:59 AM   #25
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Re: Ryan Adams' Music Now

I've always found it difficult to separate the artist from the work. I just hope Cold Roses will give me peace like it once did. I guess so, since the most defining tracks ('Magnolia Mountain' and 'Easy Plateau') are about finding peace. It's the only album I really, really, really care about. It will be harder to listen to his love songs, which were indeed a bit obsessive, but I always thought it was the obsession of a hopeless romantic and not abusive.
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