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Ryan Adams, abuse, the Stans, and people who believe no apology is good enough


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Old 02-13-2019, 07:46 PM   #151
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Agree, but I'd rather wait and see what happens etc.



Really don't care either way, still will enjoy the music.



But Mandy Moore's music does suck
I literally want to see all the texts. While it's probably true, I simply refuse to trust anything that comes from this corporate news media outlet without some kind of physical proof included.

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Old 02-13-2019, 07:47 PM   #152
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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You're correct. But you couple that with the texting the kid, and I just can't...





its a pattern of behavior that I've indirectly enabled for too long. He's been a dick since probably the beginning, thats fine if its quirky artist stuff, but painted like this, its just too much. Maybe I'm weak and can't handle this and people, who can are stronger than me. If this is the breaking point, so be it.
I know you're a Phish fan and the Mike Gordon shit is at least equally disturbing

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Old 02-13-2019, 07:48 PM   #153
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Wait, you don't think this type of behavior from your partner is fucked up?
I love my wife dearly and we've been together for 13+ years. Hope we're together for 50 more. If not, the quotes we could use against each other in a hit piece make "Youíre not a real musician, because you donít play an instrument.íĒ look like child's play.

I don't have anything against Mandy Moore per se, and I'm glad that she's apparently so much happier now in a new marriage with a partner that respects her. It's unfortunate that Ryan was a lousy husband. It's not surprising to anyone who has paid the slightest attention for the last two decades of his public life. However, if we're here judging people, Mandy Moore strikes me as a person who has her own set of issues and strains of narcissism that she's unwilling to confront, instead blaming everything on Ryan. The article's supposed closing rallying cry "I want to make music. Iím not going to let Ryan stop me." made me snicker. Sorry, too on the nose. It's 2019, she's been free of him for 4-5 years. Maybe there are other obstacles to overcome if that's still such a struggle for a millionaire actress.

His behavior with the underage fan is awful, irresponsible, stupid, gross. I can condemn those actions and still view the rest of this flattened, simplistic takedown with a healthy dose of skepticism (not denial) and context (which its one-size-fits-all narrative through line lacks entirely).
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:50 PM   #154
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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I know you're a Phish fan and the Mike Gordon shit is at least equally disturbing

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Yes. And my fandom of them has been diminished significantly since then. I think Iíve only seen them twice since then. And while I enjoy their music still, itís not the way it was before.

To be clear, itís possible his situation was as innocent as it was explained, but Iíve always had my doubts. Especially in the MeToo era.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:51 PM   #155
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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I love my wife dearly and we've been together for 13+ years. Hope we're together for 50 more. If not, the quotes we could use against each other in a hit piece make "Youíre not a real musician, because you donít play an instrument.íĒ look like child's play.



I don't have anything against Mandy Moore per se, and I'm glad that she's apparently so much happier now in a new marriage with a partner that respects her. It's unfortunate that Ryan was a lousy husband. It's not surprising to anyone who has paid the slightest attention for the last two decades of his public life. However, if we're here judging people, Mandy Moore strikes me as a person who has her own set of issues and strains of narcissism that she's unwilling to confront, instead blaming everything on Ryan. The article's supposed closing rallying cry "I want to make music. Iím not going to let Ryan stop me." made me snicker. Sorry, too on the nose. It's 2019, she's been free of him for 4-5 years. Maybe there are other obstacles to overcome if that's still such a struggle for a millionaire actress.



His behavior with the underage fan is awful, irresponsible, stupid, gross. I can condemn those actions and still view the rest of this flattened, simplistic takedown with a healthy dose of skepticism (not denial) and context (which its one-size-fits-all narrative through line lacks entirely).
From a psychological standpoint I'd stand to reason she hasn't fully gotten over their divorce in some ways and this is her way (albeit not healthy) of trying to heal. This is now the second time she's spoken out to the media about her failed marriage.

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Old 02-13-2019, 07:52 PM   #156
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Yes. And my fandom of them has been diminished significantly since then. I think Iíve only seen them twice since then. And while I enjoy their music still, itís not the way it was before.



To be clear, itís possible his situation was as innocent as it was explained, but Iíve always had my doubts. Especially in the MeToo era.
I definitely have my doubts but I'm able to compartmentalize things and it's still such an enjoyable experience to see them live or listen to the tapes. I don't think I could ever live without their music in my life and I'm not ashamed to admit that.

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Old 02-13-2019, 07:53 PM   #157
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Originally Posted by gnomesayin View Post
I love my wife dearly and we've been together for 13+ years. Hope we're together for 50 more. If not, the quotes we could use against each other in a hit piece make "Youíre not a real musician, because you donít play an instrument.íĒ look like child's play.

I don't have anything against Mandy Moore per se, and I'm glad that she's apparently so much happier now in a new marriage with a partner that respects her. It's unfortunate that Ryan was a lousy husband. It's not surprising to anyone who has paid the slightest attention for the last two decades of his public life. However, if we're here judging people, Mandy Moore strikes me as a person who has her own set of issues and strains of narcissism that she's unwilling to confront, instead blaming everything on Ryan. The article's supposed closing rallying cry "I want to make music. Iím not going to let Ryan stop me." made me snicker. Sorry, too on the nose. It's 2019, she's been free of him for 4-5 years. Maybe there are other obstacles to overcome if that's still such a struggle for a millionaire actress.

His behavior with the underage fan is awful, irresponsible, stupid, gross. I can condemn those actions and still view the rest of this flattened, simplistic takedown with a healthy dose of skepticism (not denial) and context (which its one-size-fits-all narrative through line lacks entirely).
Great post. Agree with everything 100%.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:53 PM   #158
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

If you guys are better at separating the art from the artist, awesome. You’re better than me. I can only go so far. Like I said, maybe I’ll be better at it later, but I’m not optimistic. I loved the dude from ducktails, he was Ryan like awful. I haven’t gone back.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:55 PM   #159
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

It’s like Hannah Gadsby said (and I’m heavily butchering it), you need to find your line and what your comfortable with. This is over my line.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:55 PM   #160
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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If you guys are better at separating the art from the artist, awesome. Youíre better than me. I can only go so far. Like I said, maybe Iíll be better at it later, but Iím not optimistic. I loved the dude from ducktails, he was Ryan like awful. I havenít gone back.
Time heals a lot of things. It's totally taboo to even discuss the Mike Gordon situation these days on Phish message boards. It's like our dirty little secret we all try to protect him from, derp.

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Old 02-13-2019, 08:00 PM   #161
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

Well hopefully it was as innocent as he said it was. Phish fans are good people and by all accounts the band is in top form. I’d hate for it to come crashing down.

I may be back. Too much of his music means a lot. We’ll see
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:01 PM   #162
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Don't believe me check out left wing progressive media outlets like RT and Young Turks and see how they view our mainstream corporate media outlets

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Don't believe me check out left wing progressive media outlets...

Yup. You're MAGA.
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:02 PM   #163
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Don't believe me check out left wing progressive media outlets...



Yup. You're MAGA.
Yawn

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Old 02-13-2019, 08:03 PM   #164
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Originally Posted by gnomesayin View Post
I love my wife dearly and we've been together for 13+ years. Hope we're together for 50 more. If not, the quotes we could use against each other in a hit piece make "Youíre not a real musician, because you donít play an instrument.íĒ look like child's play.

I don't have anything against Mandy Moore per se, and I'm glad that she's apparently so much happier now in a new marriage with a partner that respects her. It's unfortunate that Ryan was a lousy husband. It's not surprising to anyone who has paid the slightest attention for the last two decades of his public life. However, if we're here judging people, Mandy Moore strikes me as a person who has her own set of issues and strains of narcissism that she's unwilling to confront, instead blaming everything on Ryan. The article's supposed closing rallying cry "I want to make music. Iím not going to let Ryan stop me." made me snicker. Sorry, too on the nose. It's 2019, she's been free of him for 4-5 years. Maybe there are other obstacles to overcome if that's still such a struggle for a millionaire actress.

His behavior with the underage fan is awful, irresponsible, stupid, gross. I can condemn those actions and still view the rest of this flattened, simplistic takedown with a healthy dose of skepticism (not denial) and context (which its one-size-fits-all narrative through line lacks entirely).
Damn, well stated
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:04 PM   #165
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

I was an English major. That teaches you to separate art from artist real quick.

Want to destroy the entire foundation of Western culture? Stop reading everything written by assholes.

Art, in its true form, interrogates the totality (not just the good parts) of the human condition. That's why Crime and Punishment and Lolita are great novels. Alas, the people most capable of speaking to and explaining the nature and consequences of all facets of the human experience are often people who've gone to really extreme places, of both light and dark.
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:04 PM   #166
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Well hopefully it was as innocent as he said it was. Phish fans are good people and by all accounts the band is in top form. Iíd hate for it to come crashing down.

I may be back. Too much of his music means a lot. Weíll see
Broken Anyways was and still is in some ways the anthem of my own divorce. I think that song (as simple as it is lyrically) helped me through that situation like no other song possibly could have. For that, I'm thankful as fuck for his music to have been a big part of my life for so many years.

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Old 02-13-2019, 08:06 PM   #167
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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I was an English major. That teaches you to separate art from artist real quick.

Want to destroy the entire foundation of Western culture? Stop reading everything written by assholes.

Art, in its true form, interrogates the totality (not just the good parts) of the human condition. That's why Crime and Punishment and Lolita are great novels. Alas, the people most capable of speaking to and explaining the nature and consequences of all facets of the human experience are often people who've gone to really extreme places, of both light and dark.
Agree 100%

We wouldn't even be talking about Ryan today if he didn't have a tortured mind, u can see it all through his music.

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Old 02-13-2019, 08:07 PM   #168
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Broken Anyways was and still is in some ways the anthem of my own divorce. I think that song (as simple as it is lyrically) helped me through that situation like no other song possibly could have. For that, I'm thankful as fuck for his music to have been a big part of my life for so many years.

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In 2008, I was sitting in my dorm room ready to kill myself after one of the worst years of my life and the death of the person I cared about most in the world. I had a plan and a note and everything. I thought of my mom and decided to go out for one walk around the block and then only do it if I still wanted to when I got back.

On that walk I listened to Memory Lane and I'm still here. His art is always going to be precious to me.
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:09 PM   #169
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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In 2008, I was sitting in my dorm room ready to kill myself after one of the worst years of my life and the death of the person I cared about most in the world. I had a plan and a note and everything. I thought of my mom and decided to go out for one walk around the block and then only do it if I still wanted to when I got back.



On that walk I listened to Memory Lane and I'm still here. His art is always going to be precious to me.
Dude that's really fuckin deep and I'm so glad that song was able to have that affect on you at such a critical time in your life. Life is a balance, for all the shit Ryan has done to people in his personal life, he's also done a lot of great things for people like you and I who he'll probably never even know.

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Old 02-13-2019, 08:10 PM   #170
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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Originally Posted by gnomesayin View Post
I love my wife dearly and we've been together for 13+ years. Hope we're together for 50 more. If not, the quotes we could use against each other in a hit piece make "Youíre not a real musician, because you donít play an instrument.íĒ look like child's play.

I don't have anything against Mandy Moore per se, and I'm glad that she's apparently so much happier now in a new marriage with a partner that respects her. It's unfortunate that Ryan was a lousy husband. It's not surprising to anyone who has paid the slightest attention for the last two decades of his public life. However, if we're here judging people, Mandy Moore strikes me as a person who has her own set of issues and strains of narcissism that she's unwilling to confront, instead blaming everything on Ryan. The article's supposed closing rallying cry "I want to make music. Iím not going to let Ryan stop me." made me snicker. Sorry, too on the nose. It's 2019, she's been free of him for 4-5 years. Maybe there are other obstacles to overcome if that's still such a struggle for a millionaire actress.

His behavior with the underage fan is awful, irresponsible, stupid, gross. I can condemn those actions and still view the rest of this flattened, simplistic takedown with a healthy dose of skepticism (not denial) and context (which its one-size-fits-all narrative through line lacks entirely).
I think there's a difference between saying something nasty in the heat of a moment and an actual pattern of abuse. If it were Ryan just saying "you're not a musician" one time, whatever. But it's pretty clearly part of something larger and systemic. There is the difference, and the problem. And I say that as no fan of Mandy Moore.
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:30 PM   #171
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

Wow. Never been a fan of RA's public persona, but I am genuinely surprised at the underage girl allegations. As lukin mentioned earlier, he was a bit of creepster during the tumblr fangirl period, no doubt. But this is a whole different level.....
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:33 PM   #172
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

No idea who this is, but they're alleging that Ryan pulled the same shit with them. https://twitter.com/jannathepeanut/s...72482152595456
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:35 PM   #173
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

In the case of Mandy alone, what we're analyzing here are the relationship dynamics of two people in a long term romantic relationship. We're not talking about black and white behaviors, like physical abuse. We're discussing emotional and psychological trends that played out between two people over almost a decade together.

It's really unfair to analyze those things in absolutes, particularly from only one side. What you're describing may have been systemic. I'd bet there were a number of other systemic issues occurring within the relationship that have not been brought to light and that they changed and evolved over time, as things will in relationships. There are certain things that are just absolute deal breakers and don't require context, and I think we know what they are. But to hear one person's side of what happened emotionally within a relationship and assume that this constitutes anything resembling a comprehensive account of the dynamic is really unfair. That shit is way, way, way, way too textured for that.

Again, Mandy's case along. Other things in the story are completely different stories. Kind of lame that we're even debating shit about Mandy when there are much bigger fish to fry. Which is the source of my annoyance with this being included in the first place.
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:36 PM   #174
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

really? one article and we just jump to conclusions?
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:39 PM   #175
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Re: Your favorite singer/songwriter is a Perv:The Thread

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As lukin mentioned earlier, he was a bit of creepster during the tumblr fangirl period, no doubt. But this is a whole different level.....
can you shed some more light on this? was completely unaware this had taken place
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