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Old 01-30-2014, 09:11 AM   #2426
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

hahahahaha
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Old 01-30-2014, 11:26 AM   #2427
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Quote:
Vincent Wade Crashes His Car, Gets Naked And Plays With Himself On The Street

Apparently Philadelphia is now the City of Brotherly Self-Love.

On Monday morning, Vincent J. Wade, a 34-year-old Jersey man, allegedly got wasted and crashed his car into a Pennsylvania Crown Fried Chicken, Philly Mag first reported. Then things got a little out of hand -- or in-hand, if you think about it.

NSFW video taken at the scene shows a completely naked Wade, who appeared to be choking his own chicken right next to the wreckage.

According to the police report:

"After the accident, the male operator exited the vehicle and began removing his clothing and yelling. He then attempted to drive off; however, someone was able to remove the keys and hold them until police arrived."

Despite being naked and only 400 feet from an elementary school, Philly Mag reports that Wade was charged with driving under the influence, not indecent exposure or public lewdness. Wade was released from jail after posting a $500 bond, according to Philly.com

The man who shot the video told Philly Mag that Wade appeared to be pleasuring himself.

“Oh, he was most definitely making himself feel happy," the onlooker said.

Thankfully, no one was hurt in the crash, and the chicken-cock-pie enthusiast did only minimal damage to the restaurant.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...ushpmg00000008
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Old 01-30-2014, 04:28 PM   #2428
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

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That guy is so ridiculous that I couldn't even get mad.
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Old 01-30-2014, 04:29 PM   #2429
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YOLO
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Old 01-30-2014, 04:53 PM   #2430
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

I sure hope drugs were involved.
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Old 01-31-2014, 12:13 PM   #2431
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

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They found the guy!

http://gawker.com/the-worlds-blandes...und-1512449436
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Old 01-31-2014, 12:43 PM   #2432
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

hahahahaha. awesome.
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Old 04-08-2014, 04:56 PM   #2433
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Oh, Pakistan........




Quote:
The family of a Pakistani baby charged with attempted murder say they have been forced into hiding after coming under intense pressure from the police, who are facing national humiliation over the incident.

One police officer has been suspended and an official inquiry has been ordered into how nine-month-old Musa Khan was booked in Lahore for supposedly taking part in a riot in one of the city's slums.

The country's media have highlighted the absurdity of the charge after the boy attended court last week, during which he cried while having his fingerprints recorded and had to be comforted with a milk bottle.

The episode has a shone an embarrassing light on Pakistan's shambolic criminal justice system, where underpaid and ill-trained police can be quick to lay false charges that can ensnare the innocent in years of legal troubles.

"We have had to move to a secret place because we are poor and the police are putting huge pressure on us to manipulate the case," said Muhammad Yasin, the boy's grandfather.

He rejected police claims reported in local media that the family had produced "the wrong baby" before the court in order to undermine the police case.

Musa was among five people identified in a police document known as a first information report (FIR) following disturbances in February in a slum area of Lahore when workers for a gas company came to try to disconnect houses that had not paid their bills.

According to the FIR, written by a now suspended assistant sub-inspector, Musa and his co-accused tried to kill the gas company workers and the policemen accompanying them by throwing stones.

More here:
http://www.theguardian.com/world/201...-murder-hiding
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Old 04-14-2014, 04:45 PM   #2434
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

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Old 04-15-2014, 01:47 AM   #2435
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

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For a second it looked like the boom operator was reaching down to get better sound of her splashing around, rather than extending a helping hand. That just made me laugh more.
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Old 04-16-2014, 11:41 PM   #2436
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/p...sible/7786821/

Quote:
Rapper severs penis, jumps off building and survives

News of a bizarre tragedy is emerging out of Los Angeles today, with TMZ, CNN and other media outlets reporting that a rapper named Andre Johnson of Northstar cut off his penis and jumped off a building, and survived.

Johnson, also known as Andre Roxx and Christ Bearer, according to TMZ, was with other members of Northstar in a second-floor apartment of a building in North Hollywood early this morning when suddenly and without warning, he mutilated himself and jumped from the balcony.

When they raced downstairs to find him, he was up and running around, screaming, TMZ said.

CNN quoted Los Angeles Police Sgt. William Mann as confirming that Johnson survived the fall and was taken, along with his recovered penis, to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he was being treated.

No word yet on what might have triggered this but the people who were with him told TMZ that at the time they were not doing "the kind of drugs" that might cause such an act.

Initial reports claimed Johnson was "associated" with Wu-Tang Clan, but a publicist for the group, Heathcliff Berru, said Johnson is actually with Northstar. He's not in Wu-Tang Clan nor directly affiliated with it, Berru said, at least not in the eight years he's worked with the group.

However, Northstar, a Long Beach, California, hip-hop group, is on the list of WTC "affiliates," according to Wikipedia.

Johnson, who performs as Christ Bearer, has recording credits that include When the Guns Come Out, which was included on the soundtrack of the 2004 film Blade: Trinity, according to the Internet Movie Database.
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Old 04-18-2014, 01:29 AM   #2437
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

http://gawker.com/florida-woman-on-c...ium=socialflow

Quote:
Florida Woman on Crack Gives Birth in Motel, Bites off Umbilical Cord

A pregnant Florida woman delivered her baby in a motel bathtub, and that's the least bizarre thing about the circumstances of the child's entry into this mad, mad, mad, mad world.

Chrystal Hassell, 37, had checked into an Ocala, Fla., motel room with her boyfriend and her 11-month-old child, and proceeded to smoke crack for an entire day. Although she was only 7 months pregnant, she started going into labor.

Hassell's boyfriend, Vincent Terry, had left the motel to run an errand, so she delivered the baby herself in the motel bathtub, chewing through the umbilical cord with her teeth.

Afterward, she called Terry and asked him to come back, but he was pulled over for speeding on the way. An officer might have been understanding under the circumstances, but Terry was wanted for attempted murder in Colorado, News 13 reported.

Hassell waited an hour before calling 911, giving the baby breaths to keep it alive, investigators say. She's being charged with child neglect.

The unfortunate baby was airlifted to a Gainesville hospital in critical condition, and the 11-month-old has been placed in foster care. Both parents are now in jail in Marion County.
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Old 04-19-2014, 09:21 AM   #2438
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Yikes.
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Old 04-19-2014, 07:41 PM   #2439
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

I find this completely fascinating.

Quote:
Man in Supposed Vegetative State Communicates

Scott Routley hasn't spoken or even followed family members with his eyes since his car accident 12 years ago. But he managed to indicate to doctors this spring that he was not in pain.

And he did it by imagining himself playing tennis as researchers watched for certain areas of his brain scan to light up during an fMRI, something he and neuroscientist Adrian Owen worked out as a signal for "no" over a series of sessions. The breakthrough technique proved Routley isn't in a vegetative state, as doctors thought. He's aware of the world around him.

"Some people can look like they're vegetative but still have awareness inside their head. I think it's a very important finding," said Bryan Young, the neurologist at University Hospital in London, Ontario, who has treated Routley for the past decade.

"It really made the point to me that we need to go beyond the clinical evaluation to be conclusive about whether a patient is really in a vegetative state or not."

Young met Routley, 39, after he came out of his coma 10 years ago. The car-crash victim had severe damage to both brain hemispheres, and woke up in what doctors thought to be a vegetative state, which the Mayo Clinic defines as resulting from severe brain damage and renders a person "unaware of his or her surroundings."

Vegetative patients can breathe on their own and usually have basic reflexes, allowing them to make noise, move and open their eyes.

Routley could breathe on his own, but was unable to speak, fixate on people with his eyes, follow people with his eyes or show emotion. He also could not perform simple motions on command, such as wiggle his toes.

Young said Routley's parents and rehabilitation center caregiver often told him they thought he was aware, but he'd always been skeptic. "Enough time had gone by that I didn't think he would improve," Young said.

The standard amount of time to wait for a person to show signs of awareness is six months, he said, "So I was really quite surprised when Dr. Owen found that he had these cognitive responses."
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Old 05-05-2014, 02:49 AM   #2440
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-n...sparks-1145798

Quote:
Man with world's largest penis sparks security scare at airport after bulge is mistaken for 'suspect package'

Jonah Falcon, 41, aroused suspicion when eagle-eyed guards from the Transport Security Administration at San Francisco International Airport spotted his bulging package

The man with the world’s largest penis was subjected to a rigorous frisking by airport security staff amid fears he was trying to smuggle a weapon on board a flight.

Jonah Falcon, 41, aroused suspicion when eagle-eyed guards from the Transport Security Administration at San Francisco International Airport spotted his bulging package.

The well endowed New Yorker was thoroughly searched and even had powder sprinkled on his pants to check for explosives after his “very noticeable” manhood was mistaken for a biological threat.

Mr Falcon told the Huffington Post: “I had my 'stuff' strapped to the left. I wasn't erect at the time.

"One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, 'Yes.' I said, ‘It’s my d***.

"He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [my penis] with his hands.

“They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing."

Mr Falcon is considered to have the world’s largest penis, although the Guinness Book of World Records does not record such achievements.

His manhood, which has even featured in a documentary, measures 9 inches limp and 13.5 inches when erect.

His huge crown jewels have made him a minor celebrity, as he has featured on numerous talk shows in the US and has been approached to do porn, but has never accepted.

Despite his interrogation, Mr Falcon managed to see the funny side, adding: “I’m just going to wear bike shorts from now on.”

Officials from the Transport Security Administration have not yet commented on the incident.
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Old 05-05-2014, 11:15 AM   #2441
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

HAHAHAHA
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Old 05-08-2014, 12:34 PM   #2442
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

WOW!!!

Quote:
North Korean screed against Obama illustrates ‘race-based’ worldview

SEOUL — In a recently published and lengthy racist screed, North Korea calls President Obama a “clown,” a “dirty fellow” and somebody who “does not even have the basic appearances of a human being.”

Propriety has never been a part of North Korean rhetoric, but rarely has Pyongyang so ferociously — and personally — attacked a U.S. leader, in this case pulling language right out of the American 1850s. The attack seems unabashed, except for one thing: Unlike most articles published by the North’s state-run news agency, this one wasn’t translated into English.

“He is a crossbreed with unclear blood,” the North says.

And later: Obama “still has the figure of monkey while the human race has evolved through millions of years.”


“It would be perfect for Obama to live with a group of monkeys in the world’s largest African natural zoo and lick the bread crumbs thrown by spectators.”

The diatribe, published May 2 by the Korean Central News Agency, almost escaped foreign attention. But Josh Stanton, who blogs regularly about the North’s viciousness and rights violations, uncovered the Korean-only piece, as well as a separate, milder article that was translated into English and in which Obama was called a “wicked black monkey.”

The Korean-only piece (headlined, “Divine retribution for the juvenile delinquent Obama!”) featured four lengthy passages, each attributed to a regular citizen. In the North, quotations of citizens are state-sanctioned and often spoon-fed by the government’s propaganda department, analysts say.

In some instances, North Korea’s verbal attacks can be milked for amusement, their outrage directed at “imperialist lackeys” and “thrice-cursed stooges.” But when North Korea talks about race, it’s almost always important — and telling about the state ideology.

Some academics — most notably B.R. Myers — argue that North Koreans fundamentally have a “race-based” worldview, showing more similarity to fascist Japan during World War II than Joseph Stalin’s Soviet Union. Myers condenses North Korean’s state orthodoxy into a sentence: “The Korean people are too pure blooded, and therefore too virtuous, to survive in this evil world without a great parental leader.”

That notion, of course, has been contorted to allow the most non-parental kind of leadership, but North Korea still goes to alarming lengths to maintain its racial purity. North Korean women often cross into China looking for work or an escape; if those women are impregnated and forcibly repatriated to the North, they are subject to either forced abortions or infanticide.

The United Nations said in a recent human rights report that this practice points “to an underlying belief in a ‘pure Korean race’ in the DPRK to which mixed race children (of ethnic Koreans) are considered a contamination of its ‘pureness.’ ” The report referred to North Korea by its official name, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

North Korea has proven its willingness to advertise all forms of contempt, racial or otherwise. Last month, its state news agency lashed out against the openly gay leading author of the U.N. human rights report, calling him a “ disgusting old lecher.” And last week, the North called South Korean President Park Geun-hye an “old prostitute.”

Obama walked into North Korea’s crosshairs after his recent visit to Asia, which included stops in Tokyo and Seoul. Washington and Pyongyang have gone more than two years without dialogue, and the North faces little risk of direct backlash for its comments.

But there are some clear contradictions in North Korea’s stereotyping. The North maintains active ties with several African countries and just signed a new cooperation agreement with Nigeria. Meanwhile, North Korea earlier this year welcomed a team of former NBA basketball players — most of them African American — for an exhibition game attended by leader Kim Jong Un.
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Old 05-08-2014, 12:38 PM   #2443
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

hoooooooly shit. that's nuts.
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Old 05-08-2014, 08:24 PM   #2444
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

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There ought to be law about this guy and lycra pants.
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Old 06-30-2014, 10:49 AM   #2445
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Quote:
The UK is Importing American Sperm to Deal With Shortage


There is a sperm drought looming over the UK, and they're facing some issues keeping up with the demand. It is believed that donor numbers have dropped since 2005, when donors no longer had the right to anonymity (children who were conceived by way of a donor can now legally ask for the identity of their donor at age 18). And despite advances in fertility treatment causing a drop in demand for donors, there is still a large disparity. And doctors in the UK are turning to international sperm banks to deal.

British Fertility Society chairman Dr. Allan Pacey is concerned about clinics lowering their standards to meet demand. Via BBC:

"The worry is clinics might decide to change the quality of sperm they are willing to accept in order to get donors through the door and I think that's a very dangerous road to go down."

He's also concerned that couples may turn to riskier practices like "DIY insemination with a friend's sperm or seeking treatment in a country with less fertility regulation."

It seems the US and Denmark are major suppliers of sperm for the UK, and one in four donated samples is imported from abroad.
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Old 08-07-2014, 04:07 AM   #2446
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

http://gawker.com/oklahoma-teacher-s...ium=socialflow

Quote:
Oklahoma Teacher Shows Up Drunk and Pantsless to Her First Day of Work

There are innumerable ways to screw up your first day of work, but some of them have a little more panache than others. A new teacher in Wagoner, Okla. was arrested on her first day after showing up at the school both drunk and without pants.

School officials called Wagoner police around 9 a.m. on Monday morning to report that Lorie Ann Hill, 49, seemed out of sorts and also was missing the lower half of her clothing. Police arrived to find her in an empty classroom, and determined, presumably without too much trouble, that she was under the influence of alcohol.

"She was found in a room kind of disoriented," Police Chief Bob Haley told the Tulsa World. "By the time we got there she was in a room and wearing shorts."

Hill admitted to police she'd been drinking, and a search of her car turned up an empty cup that reportedly smelled of vodka. Haley said, though, that there wasn't enough evidence to prove she drove to the school drunk, and no "credible witnesses" at her home, whatever that might mean. She was spared a DUI charge, and booked into Wagoner City Jail only on suspicion of public intoxication.

Classes don't start until Thursday. Neither Hill nor her pants are likely to attend.
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Old 08-07-2014, 08:17 AM   #2447
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Ha!
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Old 09-22-2014, 04:56 PM   #2448
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

I can't believe the story of the Incredible Three-Boobed Woman hasn't been reported here yet.

Spoiler:




http://jezebel.com/seven-questions-a...obs-1637679523
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Old 10-24-2014, 01:22 PM   #2449
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

Quote:
Lovesick woman spends a week in KFC after being dumped

Lovesick Tan Shen, 26, went to the fast food chain in search of some comfort food to get over the break-up. Photo / File
A Chinese woman spent an entire week in a KFC eating fried chicken wings after being dumped by her boyfriend because she "needed time to think".

Lovesick Tan Shen, 26, from Chengdu, in China's southwest Sichuan Province, went to the fast food chain in search of some comfort food to get over the break-up.

But seven days later Tan was still ordering chicken wings with a side of extra large fries at the KFC near a train station by her home.

She even phoned in sick to work to stay at the restaurant.

"I was walking around feeling miserable and decided to stop off at the KFC at the train station," Tan said.

"I hadn't planned on staying there long, I just wanted some chicken wings.

"But once I got in there and started eating I decided I needed time to think.


"I didn't want to go back to my apartment because it was full of memories of him. So I stayed."

After a few days employees at the chicken shop began to worry about Tan.

Worker Jiang Li Lung, 22, said: "We work in shifts here and the restaurant is open 24 hours a day, so we get a lot of people coming through.

"At first no one really noticed her.

"But after a few days I began thinking she looked really familiar.

"Then I realised we had been serving her for the past three days and that she hadn't actually left.

"When we asked her if she was okay, she said she was and just needed time to think.

"And then asked for another box of chicken wings with extra large fries."

He said that Tan was doing no harm eating her way through boxes of chicken so they let her stay.

"She was after all a paying customer, even if a bit of an odd one."

Tan decided she had had enough when local media turned up after a week at the KFC. And, unsurprisingly, she was starting to get sick of the taste of chicken.

"I decided the best thing to do would be to leave the city and go back to my parents.

"I had already told work I was off sick, so phoned them and said I was leaving.

"And I was getting sick of the taste of chicken so there was no point in staying there anymore."

She then boarded the next train to her parents' home in Qingdao city in east China's Shandong Province and left.

Waitress Jiang Li Lung said: "I guess we kind of miss her. It certainly made work more interesting."
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Old 10-28-2014, 08:12 PM   #2450
Izzy Eviel
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Re: Miscellaneous/Amusing News Items

What a waste. I have so much of the stuff but no-one wants it. Can't even give it away for free!
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Last edited by Izzy Eviel; 10-28-2014 at 08:13 PM.. Reason: Supposed to be quoting jack's article - fail.
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